Here are some anger management tips that are sure to produce favorable results. Will they eliminate anger completely? Perhaps not…but they should give you the tools for some immediate relief. In most cases, giving yourself a little time to analyze the situation is all it takes to calm you down.
- Stop what your doing, clear your mind and take 3 deep breaths – This sounds simple, but you would be amazed at how calming this can be. If you’re driving, find a place to get off the road and park. Close your eyes, take in a deep breath in through the mouth, hold it for 8 seconds, then very slowly exhale through your nostrils. Try to only think of the breath going in through the mouth, and out through the nostrils…clear your mind of everything else.
- Take note of what is causing you to be angry – When you realize you’re angry about something, take a minute and jot down some notes on what is causing the anger. Is it a person, place or a thing? What specifically happened that caused the angry situation? What time of day is it? Where are you at this time? Taking notes allows you to reflect on the situation once the anger has subsided. Also…taking a minute or so to make notes takes your mind off the situation and allows you some time to cool off.
- If possible, immediately get away from the situation that is angering you – Sometimes easier said than done, but this provides the opportunity to step away, regroup and reconsider the situation in a different light. Go outside, take a walk, go sit in your car, do whatever you can to just get away.
- Decide whether the situation that angers you is under your control? – Do you have the ability to change the situation that is angering you? If so, then consider how you can make a change to make things better. If not, you need to decide if you want to allow something that is out of your control, to anger you so greatly?
- Don’t do something you will regret later! – Tempers flare and the “heat of the moment” is sometimes hard to avoid. When you feel yourself getting angry, somehow give yourself that cushion of time you need to analyze the situation. “Speak when you are angry–and you will make the best speech you’ll ever regret” Laurence J. Peter
- Develop a “feel good” trigger – Sometime when you’re in a quiet place, perhaps lying in bed, close your eyes and imagine something, someone, some place or some time, when you have been really happy. Really think about that situation and experience the happiness you felt. Now, create a trigger that will allow you to bring those pleasant thoughts back instantly. Something simple such as placing your thumb and index finger together, maybe it’s a light tug on your ear lobe. It can really be anything…just something that you can do that causes you to remember that peaceful, happy feeling you experienced before. When faced with anger, use your trigger to bring the happy thoughts back immediately!